Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Late News with Jackie

*Ba buh ba buh ba-daaaaaa*

Good evening! I'm Jackie and this is the Late News. We don't always deliver the most important news, but you can be sure we'll deliver it late. 

Entertainment News

I went and saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey yesterday! It was so great. I wasn't interested in seeing the 3D version the first time around, which meant I had to wait until 9:35 to see it. It's a 3 hour movie (no really), but it was definitely worth getting in a little late last night. Peter Jackson does not disappoint. Also, I am now in love with Kili and Fili. Sorry girls, I saw them first. A+ 

Sports News

Cocky, the best mascot ever, is currently undefeated as he goes up against Raider Red in the finals of the Capital One Bowl Mascot Challenge. Vote vote vote!


It snowed last night, a beautiful but icy 0.3 inches. However, this being the first snow of the year, it was accompanied by the usual complete and utter meltdown of metropolitan transportation. The trams were not going, and the buses were stuck in traffic with everyone else since two trucks decided to run into each other and block the entire road. An hour and a half after leaving my apartment I managed to get to work, freezing cold, with no further desire to ever see snow again. 

Political News

Some politician somewhere said something stupid, because his father paid his way into a prestigious school where he skated by on his family's reputation and thus learned nothing. His remarks have stirred a lot of controversy, but he refuses to apologize, mainly because he's too drunk to remember what he said. 

Crime News

Someone did something stupid, and it probably involved a sexist/racist/expletive-filled statement, an illegal weapon/substance, and/or gang activity. However, his/her mother insists that he/she is a nice boy/girl and would never be involved in anything like that.  

Fluffy News

The world needs more happiness so look how cute my dog is:

No comments:

Post a Comment